Wintertime is FUN time for Hell’s Playthings! Plus a selection of dating tips and festive zombie gifts.

As snow gently piles up on your rotting carcass, take the opportunity to be a kid again – or eat a kid again – in the wonderland of ice and frost. 

  • Build a snow Zombie using a real head and frighten neighborhood children or make snowballs around sharp rocks to make taking out the kids even easier since the little bastards can run fast and this will drop them to the ground.
  • Visit the town’s Christmas tree and share in the joy of community as you pick out whom in the crowd you will be sharing with your date. Santa Claus is a perennial Zombie favorite as he's usually good for more than one meal after eating all those Christmas cookies. 
  • Love to sled? If you or your date is freshly dead, Rigor Mortis is a great way to use that stiff body to its fullest potential. Bring a hook and a rope and take turns riding each other down the hill. 

If you're stuck for a festive gift this season, may we suggest from the fine folks at Neatorama:

Oh yeah, that hits the spot. I love a back scratcher that doesn't stop until it pokes an organ.

A selection of sassy ornaments

Zombie Wine Cork or Doorstop Tickler. Whatever.

Please. Like you've seen anything different at the 7-11 at 4am.